Spring Haggis (diaspora)

Forget the Partridge, Pheasant, Grouse, Woodcock and Snipe...there is one other who's flesh is tender and sweet and can only be hunted for a few days a year at the beginning of spring...do not underestimate this Wiley little creature he is fast and has a nasty bite...watch those fingers...only found in Scotland it breads in small groups of no more than seven...the actual breading cycle of the Haggis has never been seen and therefore never filmed, but I am hoping I might get the chance to take part in an operation being put together by Simon King later this year.
It can be found in many parts of Scotland and each area has a different breed but technically they are the same, the North Argyll breed is a particularly ferocious strain and should be handled with care.  You will know you're in haggis territory when you hear their call, a loud clicking, chirping noise strangely akin to the call of the triffids from the popular sci-fi film...To look at, the haggis is slightly comical...a small pointed rat-like face, large round ears, a round fat body with the stubby little wings although it's flightless and a pair of powerful but scrawny, spindly legs.
The important thing to notice here is that one leg is slightly shorter than the other which enables them to sprint round the hills and mountains they frequent...THAT is the key to catching them....Normally two people will be on a haggis hunt. The technique is simple - one person chases them round the hill and the other hunter will run round the opposite direction...To start with the first hunter will jump up and down making whooping noises to scare the haggis and then chase it round the hill. When the haggis sees the second hunter coming towards it and turns round, because one leg is shorter than the other and it's facing the wrong direction it's now unbalanced, gravity comes into action, the haggis falls over and rolls down the hill and ends up dazed and confused at the bottom they are now relatively easy to catch.
Once prepared for cooking and this bit is particularly secret and closely guarded...the now prepared haggis is boiled in salted water for about an hour and can be served with Neaps (turnip) and Tatties (potato's)...haggis are good to eat all year and they are hallowed on New Years Eve, when the Scottish celebrate the new year.
If you see one try not to disturb it, make a note of where it was and come back at the beginning of April with some more fools and enjoy the hunt.